When I tell people about what we do at Toastmaster meetings, some people complain that the program doesn’t accurately simulate situations they’ll be in outside Toastmasters. It’s a fair objection. Maybe your talks run longer than five to seven minutes. Maybe you don’t give speeches at all, but instead lead interactive sessions. Maybe you’re concerned that most Toastmasters are nice but your target audience is a bunch of jerks. Or maybe you want to give a talk at your church where you throw snakes on each other but your club won’t allow animals.

Fine. Toastmasters isn’t perfect. I’m reminded of the old joke that if you’re looking for a perfect church and you find one and join it, it won’t be perfect anymore. But the objections shouldn’t be deal breakers.

No Time?

The most common objection I hear is, “I need to talk for an hour but the recommended length for my speeches is five to seven minutes.”

My first objection to your objection is where are you going to start? If you can’t talk for an hour in front of your boss without stammering/using tons of uhms/throwing up, maybe you should start off with your friends for five to seven minutes. I’ve done hour long talks and it turns out the skills used in the first five minutes are the same you use in the last fifty five.

Having shorter talks is actually a good thing. It means you can give more of them - both because there’s time for more speakers every meeting and because you don’t have to spend four weeks putting together an hour worth of stuff to talk about.

The five to seven minute length is only a recommendation. Some of the advanced manuals can run longer - from fifteen to twenty to forty minutes. You can also talk with the day’s Toastmaster about having additional time or join an advanced club where you can do longer talks. Just don’t be a jerk - if you talk at twenty minute blasts too often you’ll likely be stopping other people from speaking.

No Interactivity? No Jerks? No snakes?

“John,” a guy one said to me. “My boss interrupts me whenever I talk. Your Toastmaster speech sounds like you get up and talk for five minutes and everyone just listens.”

True. Most of our speeches are delivered with the audience shutting up and listening. That’s only because they’re being polite. You can make of Toastmasters what you want. Just because other members give a monologue doesn’t mean you have to. You can ask open ended questions to the audience or can reverse it; you can ask an audience member or members (your shills) to interrupt you with hard and rude questions if that’s what you need to practice. There are some advanced manuals that cover dealing with a hostile audience, but you do this with any speech. Heck, you can deliver your Ice breaker in front of a hostile audience if that gives you a charge!

You’re on your own for the no snakes part. Just ask real nice if everyone is up for something different, I guess.